I’ll be really up front here: my deepest fear is regret. Whenever I take my last breaths in this lifetime, I never want the thoughts that cross my mind to be “I wish I would have…”, “Why didn’t I…?”, “I should have….” or anything of the like.

It has take me nearly 39 years to dig down to that level of understanding myself to be able to pinpoint exactly that, and that is what has been driving my decisions and life for the last few years at least.

So, in the vein of regret and trying to have as few as possible when its my time to go, I designed this ritual to facilitate acknowledging what we currently regret, letting it go, and then recognizing that we still have time to make our lives what we want.

Best time to do this ritual:

  • Waning phase (between the full moon and the next new moon)
  • On the new moon

The energy for letting go and moving forward is best during this part of the moon phase, especially the closer we get to the new moon.

What you will need:

  • a flame resistant/heat resistant dish or cauldron (stone, cast iron, etc)
  • a handful of dried rue*
  • a black candle (white can be substituted if you don’t have black)
  • a match or lighter
  • a piece of paper and something to write with

*Rue is helpful for breaking curses and unbinding things, or cutting connections, which is what we are looking for in this ritual, to cut the emotional connections we may still be carrying with us centered around these regrets; other very relevant and lesser known properties of rue include atonement and fresh starts, both of which I think are really perfect symbolically for this ritual, and that’s why I’ve chosen this particular herb.

Meadow rue

What you will do:

  1. Take some time to think about the most heavy regrets you are carrying with you and write those down. Be as specific as you need, or simply write a statement that represents that regret.
  2. Once you have your list, light your candle and meditate on your list, visualizing letting regrets flow from your physical and energetic body. Cup your hands and hold the dried rue in your hands; visualize the weight of those regrets lifting from you, and release them, transferring that to the rue. Say your peace and farewell to them and let the rue take them from you. Understand these cannot be changed because they are in the past, but we need not continue to carry them with us.
  3. Once you have finished and you feel you have adequately released the energy of those regrets, put the rue into your bowl, dish, or cauldron and light it on fire. Fold or crumple your list and place it in the cauldron, too, and let it burn down. As you do this, visualize breathing in clean bright light of opportunity and new promise and breathing out any last energy that has been lingering holding you back.

This is a quite simple ritual, and does not need to be complicated. I find it most helpful to speak out loud what I am letting go, acknowledging it, and making my peace with it. If you are unable to do that, you can also recite your list to yourself in your mind as you meditate.

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