self doubt is something we all experience about virtually all aspects of our lives at some point. it could be about relationships, our self worth, our appearance, our abilities, and our knowledge.
and its not that this is specific to magickal or spiritual practice, because self-doubt happens in all areas of our lives, as i just said, but if you’re experiencing blocks in that specific pursuit, then start with your own self-perception.
i’ve written before about shadow work, and that is 100% going to be foundational to your ability to push through and past your own obstacles, but here are some other things to consider, that i’ve had a number of conversations about lately:
- you are powerful. i don’t care who you are, where you’re from, and whether you’ve ever been spiritual before. you have innate power and you are connected to everything around you, which is also powerful. the potential is there. you just have to let it work.
- you can be whoever you want. if you’re young and still trying to find a peer group to fit in, i’m sorry. i know what that felt like, especially if you haven’t quite figured yourself out- because that can take a while, and nobody expects you to have this figured out yet. people can and will judge, and the internet is full of people who think they know what’s best for you. if you’re of any age, and just simply afraid to be who you really are inside, i’ve also been through that. now more than ever, we need to embrace and let ourselves shine, otherwise, there’s a massive war going on inside your head and you’re on the losing side.
- you are worthy. whatever it is you hope to gain from this spiritual or magick path you’re on, you can get it. you deserve the things you ask for as long as you believe you deserve them. (but be careful what you ask for, because sometimes the universe sends you what you need, not necessarily what you want).
- magick and spiritual connection are not owned or limited to a select few. this is for everyone. some people are naturally adept and things work easily for them, others need to practice and build confidence before things start to work. the key word there was confidence. believe in you, and believe in your ability to make this work, and it will. don’t let anyone tell you its not in your birth chart, or you don’t ‘have’ it, whatever ‘it’ is.
- be unafraid. no matter what happens, you are powerful and capable, and you can always ask those in your community (magickal or otherwise) for help with problems, or things that don’t go your way. yes, magick and spiritual matters can go wrong, but they are rarely life-threatening (although, let’s be honest, we would be fools to think they aren’t in some cases). we all mess up, make mistakes, and learn from them.
how do you get out of your own way?
one of the biggest things that helped me, and still does anytime i’m feeling that doubt creep in over a new idea or undertaking, is grounding, meditation, and visualization. i’m a big fan of this method.
these are honestly some of the most potent tools a solitary practitioner has in her toolbag. if you don’t have the luxury of learning from someone else on a regular basis, or you just prefer to strike out on your own, get to know your body, your mind, and your spirit well with some solid foundations you need to lay.
its important to ground yourself before and after any intense meditation or visualization, because these can be remarkably energy intensive, and if you’re already sensitive or an empath, it may make you feel as if you’ve been run over by a truck afterward.
visualizations that i’ve done that have been helpful include:
- visualize your power; its source within you, its color, its shape; you don’t have to visualize yourself doing anything with it, but visualize its existence; know it, and know its there when you need to call on it
- visualize your success; this is something life coaches and motivational speakers have used for decades to get people to overcome their mental hurdles; its a super simple technique with huge payoff; whatever it is you’re getting ready to do, create a strong mental vision of it and its successful outcome that you can call on when you need a boost of self-esteem or a reminder of your inner strength; you can even create a talisman or other ‘power object’ to bestow this vision on, which you carry with you and can hold or access when you need to revisit your desired outcomes
- visualize control over your own self, including your body, mind, and spirit (internally maybe this is chakras or energy flow, externally maybe confident posture and movement); in visualizations, especially those which are deep, it is best to first become acquainted with your body and its energy flows, places where energy is stuck or sluggish, and identify why (past injuries, whether physical or emotional? posture? trauma?); throughout this journey, being in full control of yourself in every way is critical for protection in all manners
- visualize correcting any deficits of balance, whether its energetic, emotional, or physical; there’s an entire field of science that’s studying the rare, strange, and poorly understood phenomena of people who heal complex medical problems purely with their minds; and then, of course, the only way to heal complex emotional problems is with our minds – we have to be in control of everything going on up there in order to feel whole, and that means cutting the cords attached to those who may have hurt us in the past
if you’re at all in a mode where anything at all in your life is someone else’s fault, you’re not going to succeed long term at anything you try- spiritual, magickal, or otherwise.
yes, shitty people exist. yes, we come into contact with them. yes, some of them do shitty things to us. but its now our responsibility to recognize this shitty person, their shitty behavior, and set a boundary that no longer allows it into our lives.
its also now our responsibility to take ownership of how we have and are reacted/ing to that shitty person and their behavior. if its someone you can just walk away from, just walk away. cut them out. they are dead to you now.
if its a shitty person you can’t avoid, or can’t avoid right now (boss, co-worker, ex spouse with whom you still co-parent children), then you have two options:
- fixate on how shitty they are and feel helpless and complain, but never offer up a solution or make any effort to actually change your situation or how you think about it, feel about it, or react to it.
- actually change your situation, how you think about, feel about it, or react to it.
if things always seem to be because of someone else, and you can’t see your own choices or involvement in the situation at all (that perhaps you are a willing participant, or at the very least, willingly making it more difficult for yourself), then you will continue to stand in your own way, honey.
if you are, however, fully ready to own your life, your mistakes, your past, your decisions (good and bad), and absolutely every single bit of what and who you are right now, then start working on those small steps forward, each one shedding just a little bit of that past self and behavior.
step into your power
if you’re standing in your own way, ask yourself to move aside. and then step into that spot, claiming the power held there.
this can be a visualization you do daily, or you can literally create a ritual or spell to manifest this.
the part of you that has splintered off from the rest, that bitch standing there going ‘uhhh, you can’t do that,’ and ‘what if [insert irrational fear]?’ all day long? politely take her hand and guide her out of your path. have compassion for this part of yourself. she’s been hurt, betrayed, kicked down, and discouraged for however many years you’ve been walking around. she only knows those things. but she has to walk beside you now, not stand in front of you.
then step into her spot and feel the power there that she once held over you.
not kidding, you can do this.