(re-)awakening your inner witch

there are lots of books and articles out there for new ‘witchlings,’ as it were.

if you’re young and delving into the exploration of the craft or associated beliefs and practices, then welcome! i hope that your witchy journey is everything you want to get out of it.

but what about the stories or ‘guides’ for those of us who are older, who already knew this was our calling, but for one reason or another, drifted away from it, forgot it, suppressed it, or just didn’t nurture it for a while.

what about those of us who re-awakened after many years away?

i guess there doesn’t really need to be a ‘how-to guide’ so much as there should be a ‘while you were away’ guide. my lapse was over 12 years, in which a LOT changed.

for starters, social media didn’t exist when i was a very young witch, not even remotely in the form we’re used to now. if you wanted to look up info on witchery, you could probably find some really poorly designed websites from a Geocities template with alternating neon broomsticks and cat faces flashing at you as you tried to ignore them, scrolling through badly formatted walls of text and blurry images (*shudders*)

but coming back into this a number of years ago, i think i was struck most by how well-connected the entire community is in order to create a strength in numbers. i was also glad to see the outpouring of new books and resources for new witches.

everyone was welcoming, supportive, and there is clearly a push within most circles to provide education and personal growth, while dispelling myths and harmful generalizations.

i don’t want to pull a ‘when i was your age,’ but when i was your age, there were not many good books or ‘how to be a new witch’ guides you could just get your hands on (the internet wasn’t much of a thing back then, but certainly shopping on the internet didn’t exist yet).

so you had to learn from someone else, who often had very strong opinions and dogmatic beliefs about the ‘right way to be a witch’, but those were often incongruent with how you wanted to be a witch.

or, like me, you struck out on your own, learned, experimented, and took note of what you liked, wanted, needed, and enjoyed, even if that made you not quite fit in perfectly with other witches around you.

i started out in witchy endeavors much like a lot new witches: as a teenager, a friend of mine who was really into Wicca gave me deck of tarot cards and it was like a gateway to self-exploration and coming to terms with the feelings, urges, and tug of what i had always known was inside me.

i cannot remember a time when i was young, in childhood or adolescence, that i didn’t feel drawn to the craft, or pagan rituals or traditions. it just clicked and felt right, even despite the years that i fell away from it as an adult who tried desperately to conform to what i thought was ‘acceptable’ in my first marriage, or professional colleagues, or my (fake) social circle at the time.

re-awakening my inner witch took many years after that early adulthood of self-oppression and emptiness. as i slowly let that energy burn brighter in me and accepted myself once again, i began to ask myself what kind of witch i was at this point.

certainly, as a young witch, it had been all exciting with cards, candles, poppets that looked like that girl i hated at school, ‘love’ potions, and all the things that are important to you when your life is no more complicated than high school, after school jobs, and getting high on the weekends with your friends.

but now, in my late 30s, my perspective and experience is astoundingly different, as it should be. i’ve seen some shit. i know the true nature of things and people. and myself, more importantly.

i find myself drawn to many different forms of practice. one day i may be more interested in green magic and the next i may feel that crystals or psychic meditation are going to be best for my purposes.

but, in the midst of all of this, i find that i have always always always been drawn to scent and smell. a well-crafted perfume, body oil, or soap can literally transport your mind, body, and soul somewhere else if you are open to it.

because of that, i started creating ‘spell oils’ for lack of a better term, that are geared toward creating the setting in which i wanted my spell or craft to function. they create the setting for me, as a powerful visualization tool that amplified my intent and i find they are quite potent at getting me the results i want from my spells.

and then i began bwitch. it started out as a creative project, something to let my inner artwitch out to play, but it morphed into something much more powerful: a movement, an ideology, a purpose. and so, there is my abbreviated story of witch > self-oppression > witch again.

if you’re like me, and have experienced a re-awakening for any reason, you may be returning to practice your craft from a totally different perspective than you did at an earlier time in your life. and i think that’s cool. we should all be evolving.

if you have a re-awakening story, i would love to hear it (or even feature it)!